Unlove you
by Dru-girl
Summary: One shot possibly a two shot based on the song Unlove you. "This hurts… it hurts so much. Having to sit here and watch how he acts around her. Listening to her laugh at something you said to her makes me cringe. It makes me cringe because I want to be the one... I want to be the one..." Clary and Jace fanfic


AN: This was inspired by the song Unlove You by Jennifer Nettles. I figured I'd write a cute little one shot, possibly a two shot if I get inspired and enough feedback. Now on to the story about one of our favorite couples! Feel free to leave a review! I always love getting feedback!

Disclaimer: Characters belong to Cassie Clare and the song that this is was inspired by and any lyrics used belong to Jennifer Nettles.

Clary POV

This hurts… it hurts so much. Having to sit here and watch how he acts around her. Listening to her laugh at something you said to her makes me cringe. It makes me cringe because I want to be the one laughing with you, I want to be the one hanging on your arm like she does, and I want to be the one having you look at me like you look at her. I just wish it was me…

Every moment I've spent sitting here in the back ground makes my heart break a little more. I've sat here longing for you for so long that I'm sure my heart is in a million pieces. For so many years I've been by your side, through thick and thin, I have never once thought about leaving. Until now that is… I had never once thought of leaving until now. I've taken as much as I can manage. I can't sit here and watch you date other girls, I can't sit here and watch you kiss them, and I can't sit here anymore because I begin to imagine what else you could possibly be doing with them and it makes me sick. I've lasted this long because every time you'd find a new girl I knew you were never serious about her… but this time I think that you've finally found someone that captivates you. I think you love her and I can't be around to see where you'll go from here with her.

This is going nowhere… I have to stop feeling this way because I know it will never be returned. Lord I wish I knew how to forget about you, I wish I knew how to unlove you. God do I wish I could… maybe then the pain will go away.

"Clary!" I look over and I see you walking towards me. Looking as amazing as always… like an angel among men. I put a smile on my face despite the broken feeling inside. "What are you doing over here? You never have looked so down at a party before. What's wrong Red?" I look down and slightly cringe at the nickname he gave me so long ago. I love hearing him call me that, however, it only makes me think of how I can't have you. I can't meet your golden eyes, I'm trying to hold myself together by a thread.

"It's nothing Blondie… don't worry about it." I mumble still transfixed by the floor. I feel his rough yet gentle hand grab ahold of my chin and slowly lifts my face up to meet his golden eyes.

"You know you can tell me anything…" I look deep into his eyes, they hold a confused look in them and the worry lines on his face are prominent. I want to tell him so badly… but I know I just can't. "Why does it feel like I'm losing you…?" he mumbles moving his other hand to cradle my face. I shut my eyes as I feel the tears begin to form.

"Not this time Jace…" I smile sadly "I need to go…" I walk away slowly. My internal battle is raging. My heart is telling me to tell him but my mind says to let him be happy with someone he really cares about. I head towards the door of Magnus's apartment and I refuse to look back to see if he's watching me leave. I feel his eyes burning into my back as I walk through that front door but I can't look back because if I do I may never be able to walk away. I'm doing this for me, I'm going to stop this pain. I make the 4 block walk back to my apartment, and as soon as I'm inside an exhausted sigh escapes my lips. I'm glad to be home, I can finally wallow in my own pity.

I change into my at home clothes, the ones that have dozens of small holes in them because tears corrode. They're the clothes that are so old and ratty that you only wear them when you're alone, like really alone. I shuffle over to my freezer and grab my favorite tub of ice cream and the biggest spoon in can find. I plop myself onto my couch with my ice cream in hand and sit in silence contemplating my life. I'm lost in a whirlwind of regrets and memories of Jace that I'm startled by someone shaking my shoulder. I jump in my seat as the world comes back into focus. Jace is crouched down in front of me.

"What... What are you doing here?" I ask around mouthful of ice cream, real classy move there Clary, real classy.

"Did you really think that I wouldn't follow you after you looked that upset?" he moves to the open spot next to me on the couch.

"But you were having fun with Kaelie and…" I trial off looking down at my ice cream.

"Will you look at me please… tell me what's wrong. I can't stand seeing you so upset! It's killing me Clary." He pleads

"I can't be around you anymore… I can't do it" I mumble as tears tumble out of my eyes.

"What… why not?" he looks so hurt, I swear I just saw his soul break before my very eyes.

"Because you love her! And I can't just sit on the sidelines anymore! I can't take the constant pain of seeing you with her! I can't be happy if you are with her. I can't unlove you no matter how much I want to because I know you will never love me back!" I say finally snapping.

"I do love you!" He says back with vigor.

"Not the way I want you to love me! I want you to look at me the way you look at her. I want you to hold me every damn night before I fall asleep! I want you! But I'm never going to have you so I need to leave." A sob escapes my throat, I bring my hands to my face and my knees to my chest, locking the freezing ice cream between my stomach and my thighs. The cold seeps through my worn down shirt but I could care less. My tears don't stop falling, and they seem like they never will. I feel Jace grab the ice cream and I hear it being placed on the coffee table. A second later I feel him move closer to me. He slides his arms around my small waist and pulls me into his lap. I feel his face nuzzle into the crook of my neck. "Jace…" I mumble.

"Sh…Clary just let me sit here like this for a little while longer, I don't want this to end, and I don't want to wake up from this dream…" my breath catches.

"Do you mean that?" I move my hands to unbury his face from my neck. Our faces are inches apart from one another.

"With all my heart Clary… with every fiber of my being." He stares at me for a moment longer before our faces simultaneously move slightly closer. "I thought you didn't see me that way. I was trying to get over you by dating around. I was trying to accept the fact that you would never see me as a lover but only as a friend. And because I would rather have you in my life and not be with you than tell you my feelings and lose you… I stayed quiet. I've regretted every second of that choice though. I could have had you so long ago. I could have been… no we could have been happy so long ago. I'm so sorry Red, I never meant to hurt you!" Jace's hands move to my face. His thumbs gently stroking away any tears that had fallen during his confession. Jace moves forward some more and he rests his forehead on mine. We sit here in silence for a moment working through everything that's just been said. The only sound in the room is our mingled breath.

I smile shyly at him and move even closer to him, I'm close enough to him that my lips barely brush against his. "So…" I whisper "are you going to kiss me or not?" the last part of the sentence comes out breathlessly. Jace's lips spread apart into a full blown smile before saying…

"You have no idea how long I've wanted to hear you to say that." Before I can even think of a witty and sarcastic response his lips are firmly pressed against mine. It's a slow sweet kiss but there's definitely power behind it. The need for air breaks my lips away from his. Jace just keeps kissing me, he trails his lips across my jaw and down my neck to my collarbone. Each kiss is a sweet and spot peck that has me wanting more, so much more.

"Jace…" I say in a short airy gasp from his endless kisses.

"Hm?" he mumbles

"What about Kaelie? You're still with her… we… we shouldn't do this while you're with her." I say around his incredible kisses. Once I've said this though he stops his path of kisses and my head begins to clear of the lust and love filled haze.

"When I left the party tonight to come find you she had just about had it with me putting you before her. She said that if I walked out that door after you we were over… I gladly walked out that door. There was no way I was losing you for her. You're all I've ever wanted." He says smiling, and I can't help it a smile forms on my face as well.

"Well then…" I place a kiss along his jaw and I can feel his sharp intake of breath "let's take this somewhere more comfortable." I whispered in his ear before placing another soft kiss to his neck.

"Be my girlfriend and I'll take you up on that offer." He says while wearing his signature smirk.

"You have yourself a deal Blondie." I softly kiss his lips once again, god I'm never going to get tired of his lips. I feel him lift us off the couch and begins the walk to my bedroom.

"We have lots of time to make up for…" he says while places kisses on any exposed skin he can find. I giggle at his antics and think to myself _I really love my boyfriend… hm boyfriend… I could really get used to saying that…_

The End


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